Wednesday, April 22, 2009

On Feeling Small


Cami has been asking questions. It seems that to ask about Delilah is safer. She doesn't ask about her own past, but she is lately quite concerned about Delilah's "parents".

"Doesn't she already have a mommy and daddy"???

"Who is taking care of her"?

"Will Lilah miss her Daddy when she comes home with us"?

Very tough questions. Both to answer, and to know are rattling around in Cami's heart.

Today I was fixing her hair into pigtails and she asked me, "What is Delilah's mommy's name"???

I had to tell her I didn't know. When she pushed for more information I took a deep breath and told Cami that just like Delilah, she was born to a mommy in China and that mommy was not able to take care of a baby for some reason. So she needed China to find a mommy and daddy that could take care of this baby and love her forever...... and how we are so happy that China let us be the family for her. And now we will become Delilah's family forever in just the same way.

With a stillness that never comes when I'm fixing her hair, and a voice as clear and pure as the first voice ever heard, Cami looked at me in the mirror and said,

"I feel very small right now".

6 comments:

Life with JJ, Starr and Spice said...

Gulp...me too Cami.

My3Monkeys said...

Bless her poor little wounded trying to heal heart.

JShannon said...

Yikes, that day has not come for me yet, but I feel it will soon.

We5Chois said...

Wow! That is powerful. Hug that baby girl from me, We have many similar conversation in our home and I never get over how incredible these little people are.

Steve n Coco said...

It has been a while since I've read this blog, but I just came across this post. I love how you put it to Cami that her mom "couldn't take care of a baby"-- not making it about Cami and saying "couldn't take care of you..." I'll remember that. Interesting how they process these things. Heartwrenching and hard to watch, but interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Be blessed,
Courtney

:)Amy B. said...

Very touching. What an insightful little girl.